yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
