Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.