YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."