Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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