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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (813): View more from Florida

  You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills

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