My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
