No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
