Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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