She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize