i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
