he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am naked and annoyed.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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