I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
