I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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