don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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