I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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