ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
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My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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