Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
