Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
