I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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