after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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