This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
