She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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