I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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