my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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