dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
