I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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