And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
