Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
