Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
