the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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