cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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