Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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