You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
