ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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