the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize