I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
