Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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