And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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