The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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