Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
