I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize