so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
