Me. At least after what I've been through.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
