It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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