you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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