You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
