Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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