I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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