She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
