fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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