6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize