You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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