The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
