there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
