You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
