I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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