Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
