U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
