I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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