Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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