thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
