Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
