Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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